It’s been a few months since I posted last. Not just because life got busy but because I needed some time to think about where my blog was heading, where I wanted it to go.
To be honest, I was worried that writing about recovery was doing more harm than good. I felt like maybe the whole goal of recovery was to move on to better things, to not think about my eating disorder, to start fresh. I felt like maybe writing about eating disorders and recovery was going to keep me stuck in that world forever, always defined as the girl who had an eating disorder.
So I took a few months. Months that were filled with new friends, new experiences and a LOT of self-reflection. Months that had good days and bad days, ups and downs, successes and relapses.
And at the end of those months, I came to a pretty simple conclusion.
My eating disorder will always be a part of me. It may not have the hold on me that it used to, but it’s still there and it always will be, even if it’s just as an old memory. I can’t just start over and pretend that it never happened. I can’t ignore something that has played such a major role in shaping who I am today.
Which is why I’ve decided to dedicate this blog to documenting my personal experience in recovery from anorexia and disordered eating and to help other women going through similar struggles. What I’ve gone through and what I continue to go through is unfortunately way too common today and I hope sharing some of what I’ve learned can make a difference in at least one other woman’s life.
Because when you restrict food, you restrict happiness. You restrict love, friendships and joy. And that’s no way to live. ❤